Watching TV

A lot of driving was involved & parking & reversing. I reached a place - strange, unknown to me. S had traveled to where I was. He wanted to see something on TV. I had a pad there with friends (same ones that I stay with now.) We wanted to see something else probably. But since he was the guest we turned the tv on to his choice. I started working on my laptop. Another of my friends did the same and another started playing with her phone. One was missing. S started cribbing about this not being the way to treat a guest. He wanted all of us to watch the same thing with him. Why?

P.S. I do not think he is too fond of tv anyway. Maybe the past was playing games with my mind when he watched tv in my room for hours. Its tough to let go...  

Ex-Flames

S told me about his ex. Her name was Manisha Das he said. Suddenly that girl had come to the place we were at. We became friendly. In spite of myself, I liked her. Then another girl came there. Her name was Geeta Ganguly. Her features resembled Manisha's a bit. But I felt Geeta was prettier. She was more friendly for sure. I liked her immediately. S was not friendly with Manisha but he was with Geeta. They even shared intimate moments in front of all.. some even gross (no.. not sexually). Like S picking her nose while cuddling with each other. ewww! My other friends were grossed out. I interacted with Geeta even after that (with a heavy heart for sure), but I still liked her. I could understand why S felt so  much for her. She had a very welcoming laughter. I also realized that Geeta was the ex, not Manisha. But then why did he mention Manisha as his ex? I also came to know that Geeta had moved on, so had S presumably. But then why were they cuddling? I also saw another pic of Geeta's batch mate in one of her pic collection. (She was the actual ex - T???)


P.S. Why did I dream of these two girls, who look completely different from his ex? (I have seen her pics btw from what my other friends have told me about her. Her name too is different.) I guess this going on in my brain about what happened between them is messing up things up there!

Quitting

S was quitting... the job probably. Had come to tell me that he would be leaving. It was too sudden. It was as if he was leaving the place forever. I was devastated. 

I called up D and asked him to marry me. He agreed. No questions, no explanations.

There was a lot of water, rains, greenery. 

P.S. I woke up feeling guilty. Too guilty. Just because I couldn't have S in my life, is it fair to D to drag him back in there? Even if he wanted it himself?

Fighting Death

There was this big palatial building. Someone was trying to do off with me. There was this elder looking guy and a younger guy, handsome. They were working separate. But they were father & son. The younger one had some feelings for me, not strong enough to let me live though. After disposing off me (I was not dead), the son started walking away. He looked at the entrance. There were CCTV cameras. He moved his gun to do off with them. Suddenly the father appeared and the mother called the father. It was a virtual call. They realized something and went inside to do something. Blasts the CCTVs inside? Do away with me properly? Get a bite from the snack place down the lane? Dunno. They were standing at the snack place. In the meantime, S was trying to save me. I had regained consciousness. We were trying to get out without being noticed by either of the two.

P.S. S saving me???? I doubt he will go to that much trouble. One pest less in his life!! he he... :P

Rains, more rains

It was raining heavily. I was about to leave. He came upto me. His wallet had got wet. He was asking me for some clip - paper clip of sorts, large one. I did not get what did he exactly want. I asked him what for. He explained something but I did not get it. I asked him if he wanted to leave with me and on the way we could look for whatever he wanted in a stationery shop. We stopped at some mall and went to a shop. I asked him to get a new wallet as well. He asked what for. I said the old one had got all wet and the leather was spoilt as well. We were arguing over whether to buy it or not standing at the entrance of this small shop. He was standing behind me with me slightly turned to him. He was standing too close... too close to be in my personal space. There was a girl standing next to me as well. Sweet looking, fair, short height (shorter than me!), a little plump. She was a South Indian apparently. She said something to herself in her native tongue. He understood it since he speaks all of them. He answered to her self-musings in English. She looked once at him and then turned back to the shop and was contemplating something. She again said something and ended the sentence with a 'ri.....' He too said, the same... 'ri...' She turned to us and spoke to me. "You are a malayali!?!" I gave her a blank look. She again said, 'Oh you are not, only he is.' She smiled and again turned back to the shop. 

P.S. That giving lift incident playing games with my mind. 

Dancing Shoes

He was dancing on stage with some girls... extras in a movie song. I joined them on stage. Our queues were different. The song playing was a Falguni Pathak Song - perhaps 'meri chunar ud ud jaye'. We danced and got off.. weird. I dont think he is comfortable dancing on stage, nor am I.

P.S. I think listening to Falguni Pathak songs all throughout the drive and then watching Abhishek Bachhan as a gay dancer Abbas Ali messing up with my mind. 

Playing the Avoidance Dance

It was pretty vivid. But dont remember much now. Big arches, huge buildings... like a university. We were playing the avoidance dance, at least he was. I was the one playing Tag, it seemed! And it was leaving a very bad feeling in me.. my heart.

P.S. These few days away from him playing games with my mind I think. 

Find Me A Reason

I saw that I was with few members of N's family including her. She was telling me about her sister falling for a guy called, Shishir??? A apparently did not have the guts or inclination to tell him about her feelings. To N it was incomprehensible (as expected)! She said her family also wanted A to tell Shishir about it. Their horoscopes did not match. I asked who did the matching? And one of N's family members said, 'We. We thought of matching on our own if this was going to come up.' I woke up.


P.S. Few days back as I was talking to N over fb, I was wondering if A was married by now. Probably that stuck on in my mind somewhere. And all this thinking and rethinking about myself, trying to find reasons on my own probably brought up the inter-religion/horoscope thingy!

Blowing Hot & Cold

He was supposed to go out of town. I got a call from a female customer for him. She wanted him to join her for some event in Mumbai. As I was beginning to feel the pangs of jealousy, I got another call from another female customer who again wanted him to visit their site for some other event. I went on the look out for him even though I knew he must have left for the airport by now. But somehow, he hadn't gone. He was sleeping, perhaps taking a nap. I was concerned. I went up to him and touched his hand to feel for a fever if there was any. He woke up as I asked, 'Are you alright?' 'Ya was feeling tired. I guess its time to leave.' But he wouldnt go. Or he would go and come back. He delayed his going away for quite some time. And finally when he couldnt have delayed it any more, he left. I woke up then...

P.S. I think these days my dreams are all filled with him... Not just my dreams, my every waking hour. Its bad.. My insecurities have led to the jealousy factor of the dream, the sweetness in his eye to his staying back long after I thought all was gone and this blowing hot and cold that is going on has resulted in this ending to the dream. I am in a soup!

Funky Town

I saw one of the drivers of the office, S? I was sitting behind him in the car and we were going somewhere. He had a pony tail?

P.S. talks of tattoos and piercings messing up with my head.

Staying afloat

I was at the swimming pool. They were going to open up a new section for females. It had those body length floaters in the pool - pink, blue and black. I liked it. But they said it was not open yet. I went into the main pool. There they had a feast going on. There were big arches - Roman I think. And there were big rotating and revolving round tables there with piles of food. They served some chicken delicacy with pieces cut in hexagon and dipped in some brown sauce. There was some sort of pink rice there. I wanted to have it, but it got passed on before it reached me. Some people were trying to escape the pool. I followed them. I peeped out of the pool. The door there opened to a main road with cars zooming past. And there I woke up...


P.S. Swimming & this sorta-diet thing messing up with my brain cells!

Ghosts From The Past

I was at dinner with friends in the center of a room. It was a cold place, there was snow in some places. But the tables were not steady, they would move as if on a ship's deck rolling with the movement of waves. I saw him at another table - a ghost from my past, G. One of the friends with me knew our history. She pointed out him to me. I just shrugged and looked down. 'It was in the past', I said.

Suddenly we were at the corner table with few of my other old friends - a blast from the past. One of them was sick. But he was treating us all. Everyone had ordered something. I had come in late. I didnt get a chance to order. He told me to go order something for myself. I told him, once the crowd disbursed from the food counter I would. It was as if the restaurant setting had changed into a food court setting. I didnt see at that time, but he heard me.

A few minutes later, he was next to me with a few menu options and also something ordered as well - something that I liked to eat, once upon a time. I said thanks to him and also said, 'yeh karne ki zaroorat nahi thi'. He laughed and said, 'No issues. mujhe yaad hai mujhe pehle bhi tumhare liye ladke lana padta tha.' He was reminiscing the times past. I could recollect times when in crowds he would stand right behind me to avoid the throng of people who would have other wise barged into me. (This had never happened in real life actually.) I replied, 'woh tumhara farz tha' I meant 'not any more'. I looked down after that, didnt see his reaction. But I could feel his disappointment ringing around me. Everyone could. There was a pregnant pause after that. We spent some time, few days - can not recollect.

The journey was over. The day was bright and sunny. I got down on the port, off the restaurant - dunno. My friend was with me. I had a tear in the shirt on my back. My friend stood behind me and dragged me through the crowd to the nearest loo to change. I was laughing and carefree. It was a walled loo rising over my head but a little below my friend's. She could see the outside. I was changing my clothes when I heard him.

My friend too heard him and raised her head to look at him. 'Why are you here?' she asked. She pressed my head lower so that he could not peep inside. She was only protecting me. She had seen the hurt I had gone through because of him few years back. I was a shattered mess. He said, 'I am here for her.' 'She isn't here', she said and pressed my head further down. 'Mujhe uski khushboo se pata chal jata hai ki woh kahan hai, aur woh yahin hai.' It was as if the years passed were no more and I was the same young girl in love for the very first time. I woke up from my dream then.

P.S. I cried a lot during my shower time because of this dream. I do not need dreams of him so many years down the lane, especially when I hope I have moved on. And when I know he has moved on long back. But I do not know why I dreamt of this. Maybe yesterday's dinner with friends brought upon this. Maybe being in his city brought about this. But I would still not want the ghost from my past to hog my dreams and invade my waking life. Something that cannot be, has to be left undone...

Drive On!

I was at a parking lot. I had two cars to myself - one old without a/c another brand new. I had to take out the old one from the first parking lane and park it in the parallel slot of the second or third parking lane. Some girl came into the parking lot eager to park in the slot I was in the first parking lane. She asked me if the other car was mine. I denied.

Weird dream.

P.S. Thinking of buying a car and driving around with N in her car playing games with my mind!

O Baby Sing A Song

We - me, N & S were at this shopping mart - grocery store kinds. Sale was ending as was the day. The prices of the groceries were increasing. Weird. Probably demand-supply ratio. N said that we will not buy anything as prices are increasing. Then we saw cheese prices were going down. So we decided to buy it. We were the last ones to get out of the store. There were three guys too having fun - singing and playing pranks on one another. It was just five or six in the evening. We were sitting outside on the parapet.

The three guys were a distance away from us gossiping among themselves stealing glances at us. We paid no heed to them and turned our faces away. Suddenly one of them sat on the edge of the parapet and the other two surrounded him. The one sitting broke out into a song loudly. I even recollected the words for sometime, now I don't.

We were shocked for a moment. Then we burst out laughing. "You came back to sing a song?" we asked. They were flabbergasted for a moment. Perhaps they were expecting us to get wild. Instead we laughed. They blinked and then nodded their heads in affirmative. Then they gave sheepish grins and started singing the very same song in a sing-song voice as friends are wont to do when enjoying themselves.

P.S. Shopping - I get it with all the grocery store shopping I have been doing for the past three days continuously. But singing? Now that was a weird one.

Bag-wati

I bought a chocolate brown color bag on sale for 1290/- ... from Nine West? It was a damn good purchase. It was big, rectangular, formal. It had those fish scale looking designs on top. And I was very, very happy with it!

P.S. P buying a white bag playing with my mind.

P.S.S. Oh btw, the title comes from ZNMD. JLT! no reason!

Reconcilations

There were two-three very small rooms. He was in one of them. He was angry and not talking to me. I had to bear the brunt of his anger and make him fall in love with me - again. They were sure he would never agree. I had every faith that he would.

He saw me and turned his face away. It would appear to those standing outside betting on the fate of my relationship that they were right. But it was only me who saw the pain and longing along with the anger in his eyes. That glimpse of the pain gave me the confidence that I was not alone in my suffering to be away from him.

And so I entered the room and shut the door behind me as I approached him lying on the bed determined to do anything within my power to get back my love. (including outright seduction in this tiny room with the others right next to us in the other 2 rooms listening at the walls.)

There was something happening in the other two rooms as well, a part of this probably. But I do not recollect it.

P.S. He looked like Salman Khan. :-P

P.S.S. Something tells me we did reconcile ;-)

Rodent-dream

I saw rats, mice - rodents of all varieties escaping through my room. Eerie!

P.S. The rodent issue giving me shivers in dreams too!

Real Life or....?

Almost like a movie... Or perhaps it was a book I was writing. It was too vivid. He was behind the counter at the bar. In a white chef's dress and chef's hat. He had a French Beard. He looked right at me through his beautiful big, black eyes. He exuded blatant male sexuality. I have never felt so attracted to someone in my life - real, virtual or dream - never in the first look... ever. I was confused. I looked away. But I could feel his eyes boring in to my back. I couldnt stay away, I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. The scene changed to next day morning. It seemed I had spent the night frolicking with him, but I don't remember seeing a thing. His expressions were stormy. He looked angry as if demanding answers from me. I look puzzled at his face. He shoved a newspaper in my face. There was the news of my engagement in that page with some person. My picture was right on the newspaper page. But there was no picture of my supposed fiance. He said, 'you lied to me'. I replied, 'you were the only one I was truthful to.' We got quiet after that and kept on staring at each other, each waiting for the other to take away their eyes. I woke up and felt it was a movie or a book I was writing. But was I?

P.S. Took a look at my stories after a long time. Decided to pen this one down as a story too. It sure had the potential! Now only if I would find such a guy in real life. :P

The Nearest Mall in Town!

After a long time I went to Shani Mall! :D or shani bazaar, just that it sounds rather tacky and we prefer to call it the Shani Mall. Don't recollect much thereafter, but K was there in the dream.



P.S. her pestering me to go there with her for the past few weeks combined with all my hair clips breaking suddenly day after day perhaps made me think that a visit to Shani Mall is imminent. Lets see - 2 days to go to Saturday!!!

Confessions of a Shopaholic!

Hazy dream. Saw some delivery arrive at the PG for me. There was N and we were discussing the items delivered.


P.S. Too much shopping online and offline short-circuiting my brains!