Quitting

S was quitting... the job probably. Had come to tell me that he would be leaving. It was too sudden. It was as if he was leaving the place forever. I was devastated. 

I called up D and asked him to marry me. He agreed. No questions, no explanations.

There was a lot of water, rains, greenery. 

P.S. I woke up feeling guilty. Too guilty. Just because I couldn't have S in my life, is it fair to D to drag him back in there? Even if he wanted it himself?

Fighting Death

There was this big palatial building. Someone was trying to do off with me. There was this elder looking guy and a younger guy, handsome. They were working separate. But they were father & son. The younger one had some feelings for me, not strong enough to let me live though. After disposing off me (I was not dead), the son started walking away. He looked at the entrance. There were CCTV cameras. He moved his gun to do off with them. Suddenly the father appeared and the mother called the father. It was a virtual call. They realized something and went inside to do something. Blasts the CCTVs inside? Do away with me properly? Get a bite from the snack place down the lane? Dunno. They were standing at the snack place. In the meantime, S was trying to save me. I had regained consciousness. We were trying to get out without being noticed by either of the two.

P.S. S saving me???? I doubt he will go to that much trouble. One pest less in his life!! he he... :P

Rains, more rains

It was raining heavily. I was about to leave. He came upto me. His wallet had got wet. He was asking me for some clip - paper clip of sorts, large one. I did not get what did he exactly want. I asked him what for. He explained something but I did not get it. I asked him if he wanted to leave with me and on the way we could look for whatever he wanted in a stationery shop. We stopped at some mall and went to a shop. I asked him to get a new wallet as well. He asked what for. I said the old one had got all wet and the leather was spoilt as well. We were arguing over whether to buy it or not standing at the entrance of this small shop. He was standing behind me with me slightly turned to him. He was standing too close... too close to be in my personal space. There was a girl standing next to me as well. Sweet looking, fair, short height (shorter than me!), a little plump. She was a South Indian apparently. She said something to herself in her native tongue. He understood it since he speaks all of them. He answered to her self-musings in English. She looked once at him and then turned back to the shop and was contemplating something. She again said something and ended the sentence with a 'ri.....' He too said, the same... 'ri...' She turned to us and spoke to me. "You are a malayali!?!" I gave her a blank look. She again said, 'Oh you are not, only he is.' She smiled and again turned back to the shop. 

P.S. That giving lift incident playing games with my mind. 

Dancing Shoes

He was dancing on stage with some girls... extras in a movie song. I joined them on stage. Our queues were different. The song playing was a Falguni Pathak Song - perhaps 'meri chunar ud ud jaye'. We danced and got off.. weird. I dont think he is comfortable dancing on stage, nor am I.

P.S. I think listening to Falguni Pathak songs all throughout the drive and then watching Abhishek Bachhan as a gay dancer Abbas Ali messing up with my mind. 

Playing the Avoidance Dance

It was pretty vivid. But dont remember much now. Big arches, huge buildings... like a university. We were playing the avoidance dance, at least he was. I was the one playing Tag, it seemed! And it was leaving a very bad feeling in me.. my heart.

P.S. These few days away from him playing games with my mind I think. 

Find Me A Reason

I saw that I was with few members of N's family including her. She was telling me about her sister falling for a guy called, Shishir??? A apparently did not have the guts or inclination to tell him about her feelings. To N it was incomprehensible (as expected)! She said her family also wanted A to tell Shishir about it. Their horoscopes did not match. I asked who did the matching? And one of N's family members said, 'We. We thought of matching on our own if this was going to come up.' I woke up.


P.S. Few days back as I was talking to N over fb, I was wondering if A was married by now. Probably that stuck on in my mind somewhere. And all this thinking and rethinking about myself, trying to find reasons on my own probably brought up the inter-religion/horoscope thingy!

Blowing Hot & Cold

He was supposed to go out of town. I got a call from a female customer for him. She wanted him to join her for some event in Mumbai. As I was beginning to feel the pangs of jealousy, I got another call from another female customer who again wanted him to visit their site for some other event. I went on the look out for him even though I knew he must have left for the airport by now. But somehow, he hadn't gone. He was sleeping, perhaps taking a nap. I was concerned. I went up to him and touched his hand to feel for a fever if there was any. He woke up as I asked, 'Are you alright?' 'Ya was feeling tired. I guess its time to leave.' But he wouldnt go. Or he would go and come back. He delayed his going away for quite some time. And finally when he couldnt have delayed it any more, he left. I woke up then...

P.S. I think these days my dreams are all filled with him... Not just my dreams, my every waking hour. Its bad.. My insecurities have led to the jealousy factor of the dream, the sweetness in his eye to his staying back long after I thought all was gone and this blowing hot and cold that is going on has resulted in this ending to the dream. I am in a soup!